When You Sit in Gloria Steinem's Living Room to Talk About Leadership

All photos courtesy of Gia McKenna

our days ago, in a pinch-me moment, I sat in Gloria Steinem's living room to talk about modern-day leadership. Joined by twenty young women in high school and college (plus some newly-minted grads), Être mentor and friend Emily Hikade and Être CCO Elizabeth O'Connell, we gathered on a sunny day in NYC to share stories and dive deeply into what makes strong and effective leadership today.

Sit here, Gloria said to me encouragingly yet commandingly, patting the arm of her chair. And remembering the last time I sat with next gen girls in conversation with Gloria - that time in my own living room - I felt the same pull. You want to be as close to her wisdom, insight and humor as possible; so I perched on the edge of her armchair with Emily on the other side and marveled at the collection of rapt faces staring back. We couldn't wait to begin.

When you sit in Gloria Steinem's living room the first thing you notice is the history. Walls are adorned with photos and posters spanning the ages, and every table holds mementos and keepsakes with stories that are waiting to be told. The next thing you notice is her focus on the future. Because atop every couch and amid a sea of floor cushions sit girls from across the nation, each bringing a diverse set of views and all ready to share.

The choice of Emily Hikade as our mentor discussion leader made the day's storytelling all the more impactful - because Emily's journey from CIA agent to founder and CEO of Petite Plume will stop you in your tracks. As she walked the room through her college classes and love of languages, first jobs, undercover years, near-death experience and unexpected pivot to entrepreneurship, mouths hung open and hands shot in the air with questions. Gloria's voice, by the way, was clear among them, and her animated curiosity about Emily's work fueled additional rounds of questions.

What, specifically, did Emily share? Sorry - that's off the record and as the girls said, in the vault. I smiled as they took that admonition to heart, putting phones down and being fully present and engaged as they spoke their minds.

What, specifically, was on next gen minds? That we can share. Because with confident voices 20 girls asked both Gloria and Emily thought-provoking questions like:

  • What do you think makes a good leader right now?

  • How do you know when it's time to raise your voice or raise an issue in a room?

  • What helped you decide to do huge things, like start a women's movement or leave the CIA and start a company?

  • When have you been the most frightened...like, ever?

  • What helps someone switch from apologizing for things to advocating for things?

  • Do you think it is ever too early to lead? When did you FIRST feel like a leader?

  • What renews your power when you feel like you can't do something?

And the answers from these veteran leaders shook the room.

You can do ANYTHING, said Emily emphatically, looking each girl steadily in the eye. And when their heads swiveled to Gloria she was nodding vigorously in agreement. Never doubt yourself, Gloria echoed. Being confident in yourself is the first step to being able to lead other people. When do YOU feel confident? She asked the room.

  • When I'm fencing, said Auyona Ray - a high school student and competitive athlete.

  • After I published my second book, said Riya Goel - a recent Barnard graduate who is releasing her third book in just a few weeks.

  • When I gave my TED-Ed talk, said Anika Gandhi - a rising Cornell sophomore, and two other Être TED-Ed speakers snapped their fingers in recognition.

Did Gloria love it all? She did - making time to take pictures with each girl and ask more about their interests and activities. She cares, one high school student remarked as she stood back to watch the photos, about what we THINK. She cares about what we are DOING. She just cares and she gets it.

She does, indeed.

Watching Gloria Steinem share moments from her journalism days (it gave me license to ask every question, she says), her personal heroes (Bella Abzug and Shirley Chisholm, among many others), founding New York and Ms. magazines and then co-founding the National Women’s Political Caucus, the Ms. Foundation for Women, the Free to Be Foundation and the Women’s Media Center, is all the thrill of a lifetime. Watching her make all of it relatable to and inspiring for the next generation of leaders is a true masterclass in storytelling.

She gets them and they get her.

I can't think of anything that makes an intergenerational conversation more of a success. With deepest thanks to Jill Heller for making the day possible and introducing her inspiring cohort of campers, to Emily Hikade for leading such an empowering and vibrant discussion, and to Elizabeth O'Connell for planning and producing like no other can, I'm awash with gratitude. And I remain overcome with awe and admiration for Gloria Steinem.

Her legend has always loomed large for me - we graduated from the same school (Smith College '56 and '90), her creation Take Our Daughters to Work Day began the year I started practicing law, and Être's mission takes other people's daughters to work. Now we've visited each other's homes, I thought to myself as she held my hand in a photo. Seriously, pinch me.

I don't know how to thank you, I said as we hugged goodbye. What's next? Came her rapid-fire response with a laugh and a distinct twinkle in her eye.

These girls, I thought to myself as I walked with them down the stairs and into the bright sunshine. They're what's next.

Looking forward with gratitude,

Illana

ÊXTRAS: To learn more about Gloria's written works, click here; the work of her foundation, click here; and her vision of talking circles, click here. In the last 3 years over 200 people have been invited into her living room to experience a transformative talking circle. Être girls are honored to be among them.

Previous
Previous

Hello Sunshine Hears Today's Girls Loud & Clear...And It's Sunnie Days Ahead!

Next
Next

A Stellar Summer of Women's Sports...and We're Just Getting Started