A Letter to Girls About Gloria
How did we get this lucky? I asked myself anytime I sat with girls in conversation with Gloria Steinem.
How did we even get here?
The answer, of course, is that she brought us here.
Through the years, through her books, through speeches, interviews, talking circles and overlapping dorm memories (we were both Smith College alums), the legend who left us last week at the age of 92 brought us all together with her wisdom, wit and yet unheard words in a brand new book coming this fall.
She wasn’t finished. But she knew that by refusing to pass a torch but instead lighting those around her, as she was so fond of saying, she’d leave behind an army of girls ablaze with new ideas.
Never in her shadow but rather standing at her side and sitting atop her shoulders.
So, this is a letter to the girls – those who have joined me with Gloria in my apartment and again in hers, those who heard her speak to them from the Être TED-Ed stage, and those just learning about her now.
In addition to everything she confided in our conversations, here are 10 things she told the world and why they matter to you now.
She loved introducing herself to the next generation and hearing about what made you tick – a sport, a story, a project or a cause. She’d want you to keep running down the path you’re on, maybe with a piece of her wisdom tucked in your sneaker as a reminder that others walked it first. This is how she kept the next torches lit – urging us to lean towards each other so one idea sparks another and the light around all of us grows warmer and brighter.
Among other things, Gloria wanted you to…
1. Be less concerned about the validation of others (think social media, group chats, frenemies). “Once we give up searching for approval, we often find it easier to earn respect.” — Outrageous Acts and Everyday Rebellions
2. Stay actively involved in the world around you; speak up about causes you love, rules you disavow, changes you seek. “Decisions are best made by the people affected by them.” — My Life on the Road
3. Dream big. Like, really big. Write your story, release the song, launch the campaign. “Without leaps of imagination or dreaming, we lose the excitement of possibilities. Dreaming, after all is a form of planning.” — Revolution from Within
4. Never feel you are too young to make a difference. Grass roots were always the start and youth have always been change-makers. “Revolutions that last don’t happen from the top down. They happen from the bottom up.” — Interview Magazine
5. Recognize that power is up for grabs…so grab on and hold it fast. “Power can be taken but not given. The process of the taking is empowerment in itself.” — Outrageous Acts and Everyday Rebellions
6. Bake equality right into your new reality. “Feminism has never been about getting a job for one woman. It’s about making life more fair for women everywhere. It’s not about a piece of the existing pie; there are too many of us for that. It’s about baking a new pie.” — OpEd in LA Times
7. Do what you love & recognize what that looks like. “Writing is the only thing that when I do it, I don’t feel I should be doing something else.” — Harper's Bazaar Magazine
8. Be authentically yourself. Trust what you love and find ways to do more of that. "Remember when you were 9 or 10 and you were this independent little girl climbing trees and saying, 'I know what I want, I know what I think'...you're the same person you were at 9 or 10, only now you have your own apartment, you can reach the light switch, you hopefully have a little money. So, you can do what you want." — Fresh Air
9. Rely on what matters and scroll right past what does not. "The more we're valued for our accomplishments and not for our looks, the better.” – Allure Magazine
10. A chain is stronger than a ladder – and we are unstoppable when we link arms and move forward; grab your team, your castmates, your club members and move the ball forward together. “We are linked, not ranked' is the shortest way I've ever found to say what our goal is." MAKERS Interview
There is so much more, but these 10 are a start. When her new book An Unexpected Life hits shelves on September 22nd, there will be even more mantras to memorialize.
For now, it makes me smile to reread Emma Watson's foreword to Outrageous Acts of Everyday Rebellion, where she quoted Gloria saying “Sometimes we have to wait for our friends to be born.”
I am so grateful to have been born in the 1960’s during Gloria's early activism, and thankful that Être girls were born in time to sit with her in our living rooms and come of age in her presence.
Girls - she is watching you now and is unspeakably proud already.
Looking forward in the light of new torches,
Illana
ÊXTRAS: Three more places full of Gloria's wisdom you won't want to miss: Gloria's Foundation where you'll find archives, background on talking circles and a place to donate; a video of Être's first talking circle with Gloria; and our favorite 100-card deck of Question Everything: Gloria Steinem Edition cards by authors Danielle Robay and Keely Cat-Wells!
